Have you ever felt the whispering of your maker, telling you to create? If so, have you listened? Or, like me, does it take a few years and a few different impressions to catch your attention and confidence?
At seventeen, my two high-school best friends told me to take AP Literature, and, like a teenage follower, I agreed.
I had zero experience reading classical literature. I had zero experience analyzing and discussing reading like the rest of the class. The teacher was stern, a bit scary even; she picked the most difficult books she could have, and she made us discuss uncomfortable elements of those books.
17-year-old Heather felt like an underdog. I had to read with a dictionary as a companion. I struggled to understand symbolism (like why the dress was red instead of orange or which biblical story the author was alluding to). The discussions usually went over my head, as did much of the reading (for example, I had no idea that Tess in Tess of the D’Urbervilleshad been raped until the class was discussing it…).
Also, there were two girls in the class that brought 2″ binders FULL of their own novels. I remember feeling like a complete outsider. I felt like I faked my way through each essay, faked my way in the discussions, faked my way in every single aspect of that class.
And then, one morning after I’d arrived, a thought screamed at me. “Heather, you will write books one day.” The thought did not come from me. If you have ever heard God speak to your heart, you understand what I mean. However, I argued. “Me? Write books? That’s the most egotistical thought ever. Who am I to write books?”
The impression came again, and I argued again.
These thoughts persisted. For ten more years, I would have similar experiences before I actually tried to write a novel. And, in those times that I felt discouraged with my attempts, Heavenly Father would speak to me again—this time in a burning in my chest, a confirmation that I was following the path he wished for me.
Hindsight is everything. I see how he laid the foundation for my writing from a young age—much younger than 17. Stories have always held my heart.
My point in sharing this… Believe God when he speaks to you. Believe Him when He tells you He has things for you to create, things for you to do. The only one we fool when we argue with such impressions is ourselves.