Today was such an exciting day. My books came.
As I held one in my hand, I was overwhelmed with emotion. I have spent so much time and energy on this project. For so long, it has been a goal of mine to get this book published so that I could share it with others. It was a lot of time spent for something I was not even sure of. There were moments of tears, my head against the keyboard, when I’d ask myself, “What am I doing? Am I wasting my time?”
There is a vulnerability about writing that is hard to explain. It’s a large sacrifice, and I worried sometimes that I was taking time away from my family all for nothing.
A few people have said to me, “But it’s art, right? It doesn’t matter if you really get published or paid. It’s all about the art.”
To this, I just have to smile and remember that people just don’t understand it. If I said to an accountant, “You like math, right? It doesn’t matter if you have a real job and get paid! It’s all about the math.” I could change math to anything– acting, music, nursing, law enforcement, teaching, etc– and it’s pretty easy to see how ridiculous this kind of comment is to a writer. Everybody needs a little validation, and everyone wants to make money doing what they love. But that’s not the point (writers don’t make much money anyways). The point is that, for whatever reason, I wanted to share my stories, not just with my family and friends, but with anyone that cared to read them.
The moment I received the email offering me a contract, I burst into tears. It was a moment I will never forget. Then came the hours and hours of revisions and self doubt, until today when a little brown box arrived at my door with the most beautiful book I’ve ever seen.
It’s lovely, and not just because it’s mine, but because the designers did an amazing job.
…and maybe because it represents something I have wanted for so long.
It’s here, it’s here! So grab a copy and read it! I hope you enjoy it!